I can't list all of the times I've experienced this, but I'll try.
First incident - I worked on campus on Freshman year, and second semester, they hired an Asian man who felt some need to make a microaggression towards my hair, implying that I must have had some hair growth surgery for old people (I had put in braids after having my natural hair down for a period of time). The gall of him. I've been waiting a long time to talk about the next incident. This is so cathartic.
Second incident - I remember once during Freshman year where I was in a team in some CIT Climate Change course. I was the only black person in that team. We had some paper to write, and we divided it into parts. I wrote my part, and they went and changed every single thing that I wrote. I wrote about one to two pages. Then this girl had the audacity to suggest that my teachers hadn't taught me the correct way to cite my resources, when she was the one citing it wrong. The rest of the team members remained quiet. The grades I got on my independent papers were stellar, but the group projects? A disgrace that dropped my grade. Teamwork will be the death of me because most people never listen, and the one person who does, steals my idea as their own. CMU students really know how to make you feel dumb for the color of your skin. 10/10 job. Keep it up!
Third incident - A teacher couldn't get my name correct at all throughout the whole semester because there was one other black girl in the class. Just don't say my name at all if you will confuse me with the only other black girl in the room but remember a million Johns.
The last one isn't even an incident, but I'm sure a lot of black people at CMU have that feeling of being an imposter. This is mostly because when you look around in a room, you're either the only black person there or there's one or two more. It feels really awkward, especially because you know others notice. One place where I notice it the most is Gates. Honestly, what is wrong with Gates? Every time I walk into that building, people stare like I broke in to rob the place. Of what, I don't exactly know (I only go there to feign interest in companies so I can get free food), but I wish I could rob them of their racism and throw it in the trash. Unfortunately, that's not how getting rid of racism works, so I'll suck it up for two more years then go work in an industry filled with more racists and sexists.
I can't believe I'm about to get this feeling for the rest of my life *sigh*. The money I get better make up for the racism and sexism I experience. Anyways, thanks for coming to my TED TALK.
P.S. I’m surprised I noticed all these incidents because I tend to be oblivious (due to the fact that my glasses are always smudged, and I willingly ruptured my eardrums, just so I could hear less ignorance. Joking, I ruptured them from sheer stupidity). Anyways, for every incident I noticed, I probably missed ten.
- Anonymous